If You Want My Advice #8

Make sure that some of your best friends are younger than you.

We all need fresh eyes and new perspective.  We start to think that our way of doing things is the only way of doing things.  We get set in our ways and get into ruts that are impossible to get out of.  But when we associate with younger people, either by a couple of years or many years, we see the world in a new and different light.  We see that our way isn't the only way.  We see that our perspective is just one perspective. 

I have a friend who is nine years old.  She has a hope-filled look at life that I think I once had.  Her joy and excitement are contagious and when I've spent time with her, I walk away with that same excitement.  She helps me not to take myself too seriously and see things as new and thrilling.  When we go someplace, everything is new in her eyes.  The zoo is gives us something new to learn.  A restaurant gives us something new to eat.  Once we went for ice cream.  She added gummi bears to her cup of ice cream and as she would take each bite, she would try to guess what color was the gummi bear in that bite.  With excitement she would pull the bear out of her mouth to see if she was right.  And she was ALWAYS excited, even if she was wrong.  For her, everything is a thrill.  What a wonderful perspective to have!!   

I have a friend who is twenty-one years old.  She's new in her job and just finished getting her college degree.  She thinks of paying off her school loans and getting a promotion.  She reminds me what it is to struggle, but to look ahead with certainty that everything will work out.  She asks for advice but also asks for confirmation that she's on the right track.  I know that she will make her own path, just like I did.  I know that she will do her best to do the right thing for herself.  She has her life in front of her and she takes that seriously.  She undoubtably will make a few mistakes along the way, but each step is hers to make.   

I have a friend who is fifteen or so years younger than I am and still raising kids.  I see her consistency and firmness with her children.  I see myself in her sometimes, as she hopes that she's being the right kind of mom.  But I also see that she will have no regrets, because she understands that she is doing the best she can with what she has been given and with who she is right now.  Some days it's all she can do to just put one foot in front of the other, to do the next thing, whatever that thing is.  And she does, because there is no other alternative.  Her job is hugely important.  She recognizes that and she's up to the task. 

All of these friends of mine help me to keep a young perspective.  I'm able to look at the world through their eyes and realize that I don't have to have all of the answers all the time.  Most days I'm not even sure of the question.  But I know that I get so much more from my young friends than any of them could possibly know.  I love and appreciate each of them for their uniqueness and for how they keep me young. 

If You Want My Advice #7

Purpose to keep up with people.
We all get busy.  There is so much daily-ness to life.  We all have people whom we want to keep up with but time gets away from us.  Before we know it so much time as gone by that we've lost touch with important people.  Find the special people in your life and purpose to keep up with them.  Make dates.  Don't let time get away from you. 
I once worked for an incredibly kind and generous woman.  While I was working for her, we became good friends.  When she closed her shop, we decided that we didn't want to be those "Yes, we need to get together but then we never do." people.  So we agreed to get together every Monday for dinner.  Even after she moved an hour away, we still get together for dinner every Monday.  Sometimes I drive to her, more often she drives to me.  We've missed some weeks for various reasons.  But those weekly meetings are balm for our friendship.  We don't talk on the phone much, almost never email.  But we have our dinners.  We laugh, we cry, we share everything.  Nothing is off limits.  We make sure that we go someplace that isn't too expensive and where we can sit for a couple of hours without feeling like we're taking a table away from someone else.  We've changed locations severals times.  But the connection is important to both of us and we know that this is the best way for us to do it. 
My husband and I are friends with a wise and caring couple.  It's the kind of relationship where we're all friends - the wife and I are friends and our husbands are friends.  It isn't like we wives are friends and the husbands just follow behind us.  We all are friends.  Their lives are very busy with four active children, so getting together is often a challenge.  We love their children but we also like being adults together.  Actually they like being adults with us.  I mean, after all, they have four children.  So we have purposed to get together on a regular basis.  For awhile we met at our favorite restaurant every other Saturday.  But then we decided that we didn't want the expense and Tom became a fabulous cook.  Now they come to our home every other Saturday for dinner.  It keeps our friendship moving forward.  We get to share what's been going on, without interruption. 
I have been fortunate enough to marry into a wonderful family.  Not only did I get to marry my best friend, but I also get to have three "sisters."  We all lives in different cities.  At some point we all realized that we each may talk to one of the others, but we wouldn't all necessarily hear all of the news from everyone else.  So we now each email the other three every Sunday or Monday.  We only have to type out the events of the previous week once and then hit "Send."  It keeps us all connected.  These women are special and important to me.  I don't want to lose that connection. 
There are other things you can do.  These are just some of the things that I do.  I know that too much time will go by and I'll wish I had kept up.  Stop wishing and just do it.

If You Want My Advice #6

Teach your children how to be polite.
I know that sounds a little obvious.  And for the most part, conscientious parents do teach their children how to be polite.  But the greatest way that children learn is by watching others.  So while you may prompt your children to say "please" and "thank you,"  they will treat people the way that you do no matter how much prompting you give them. 
As someone who works with the public, I see lots of families and can tell a great deal about a person by how their children act when mom or dad isn't around.  I've had kids come up to me and ask for a book.  Some have impeccable manners.  They are the ones with parents who treat others with respect and honor.  They are the kids who know how to ask for something with an appropriate voice and respect for their elders.  Some kids ask for a book without uttering a pleasant or kind word.  I know that if many of their parents were standing there with them, they would be prompted to say "please", but without their parent, it just doesn't come.  And then there are the kids who interrupt, are demanding and ungrateful.  I can almost match those kids to their parents because the adults in their lives act exactly the same way.  They have adults in the lives who interrupt, are demanding and ungrateful.  And we all know that kids learn what they see. 
I know, kids are kids and they're still learning.  But trust me, they act just like their parents.  I'm often shocked at the manners of many adults.  I've been working with one patron and another will come up and stand so close, I'll stop and ask if they know each other.  And they don't!!  I've been working with one patron and another will come up and interrupt our conversation to ask their own question.  I've been working with a patron and when finished, he will just walk away without a word.  And in every scenario, the patron may have a son or daughter with him.  That is what the child sees and that is what the child does later.  I often find myself treating kids like my own and prompting them myself to be more polite.  I've said "I can only help you if you say it more politely."  Or "I'm helping this person right now.  You may stand over there and wait."  Of course, I haven't done this when their parent is present, but it has been tempting.  Don't get me wrong, I love children.  They have a eagerness and enthusiasm that should be encouraged.  I'm just hoping that parents will realize that their little ones are catching everything they do and emulating it. 

If You Want My Advice #5

Another way to be adaptable is to let things change.
When Tom and I were first married, I couldn't cook a thing.  Well, that's not true.  I could boil a hot dog.  But that was just about all I could cook without messing it up.  We were working different shifts.  I worked days, 8 - 5.  Tom worked evenings, 4 - 12 or later.  We didn't eat dinner together very often.  Most of the time I would fix a sandwich for myself.  It was easy and within the bounds of my capabilities.  After we had our kids, Tom went back to school and our schedules were pretty equal.  Because I still couldn't cook, Tom would take over that task everyday, while I would deal with the kids.  He had several things he made well and we were happy with the division of labor.  Then, after we had been married for 10 years, I lost my job and we decided that I would stay at home full-time with the kids.  Well, it didn't seem right to me to have Tom work all day and then come home and cook, so I decided that I would teach myself to cook.  At first, I just followed simple recipes, sometimes having to look up cooking terms in the dictionary because I didn't know what to do!  Gradually I started getting better at it and began to experiment.  I would take a cookbook and make as many things in it as I thought we would like.  I would make notes of how it turned out and how I might want to change things if I made it again.  I set a goal for myself to make something different every day of the month.  I enjoyed the challenge and was pleased when things turned out.  Of course, that didn't always happen.  I have made plenty of flops.  But the flops became fewer and farther between.  It was satisfying and gratifying.
A few years ago, my mom had an accident and lingered for three months before dying from injuries caused by that accident.  During that time, I was at the hospital every day.  As a way of being supportive, Tom took over the cooking.  His help was a godsend and I'm so grateful for the way he knew what to do to be helpful.  Then Tom because aware that for health reasons, he needed to change his diet and make it gluten-free.  Since he was experimenting with foods, he kept up with the cooking.  He started creating his own recipes and figured out how to alter some of our favorites.  Because of some other things going on in our lives, he found that cooking became a kind of therapy for him.  His cooking style is very different than my own.  While I tend to follow recipes, only changing them after I've tried them at least once, Tom will just experiment.  He rarely makes anything the same way twice.  He uses fresh herbs and lots of different flavors.  Gradually I let go of even going out into the kitchen to see if he needed any help.  He doesn't!!!  He is a really good cook.  We've adapted and changed our roles just a little bit.  I was happy to take on the cooking when we needed me to do it.  And now Tom is happy to do the cooking because he needs to do it.  We both win!  And right now he's in the kitchen making his delicious Pad Thai.  Definitely a win!!

So yes, we replaced the plaque that said "Debbie's Kitchen."

If You Want My Advice #4

Be adaptable.

I work twenty hours a week at a library.  I work four days a week and my schedule is different every day.  On Tuesdays I work from 3 pm till 8 pm.  On Wednesday I work 9 am till 2 pm.  I haven't always like closing on Tuesdays and opening on Wednesday.  But if fit the needs of our branch.  Today I was asked to permanently switch shifts with another half-time employee so that I would work from 9 am till 2 pm both Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  At first I wasn't sure I wanted to.  I like having a nice long morning on Tuesdays.  I can sleep in and take my dog for a long walk, work in the yard and take my time with getting ready for work.  But I decided to be adaptable and agree to the change.  When I got home and told my husband about the change, he was pretty happy.  Up until now, we don't have dinner or our evening together on Tuesdays.  He pointed out right away that we'd now have every evening of the week together.  I realized that in the six years that I've worked for the library, I've had to work at least one evening a week.  This is going to be a pleasant change for us.  I'm glad I decided to be adaptable to the needs of my fellow employee.  This will make her life a little easier and my husband is happy.

If You Want My Advice #3

Be willing to learn something new. 
When my mother-in-law died, I was given the opportunity to inherit her sewing machine.  I had never been a seamstress, but when my sister-in-law offered to teach me to sew, I took her up on it.  I like to think that I'm always willing to learn something new, and I enjoy spending time with my sister-in-law.  She taught me to make some table linens.  And I wondered, "After I get these done, what will I sew?"  I mean, you have to sew things in order to get better at sewing things, right?  One day at a quilt shop, I saw some instruction kits for appliqued panels.  Each one was about 10 x 14 and depicted a scene related to a different month of the year.  I thought that would be perfect.  I could have something to make each month and theoretically get better as I completed each month's project.  So I bought six, for July through December.  Sometime in the last week of each month I would make the panel for the next month.  And I did get better at it each month.  I found that I looked forward to doing each new one.  At the end of December, I realized that I could either go back to the quilt shop and get more of these panels OR I could try to come with some on my own. 
For January I decided on a snowman.  I know, it doesn't snow where I live, but when I think January, I think snow.  I found a simple snowman coloring page and printed it out.  I then traced each piece on paper and transferred the pieces to material.  I use an interfacing that is double sided. I ironed the interfacing the pieces of material and then ironed all of the pieces onto my background.  I wanted the snowman to have a cute embellishment so I found a youtube video with instructions for making a flower out of a scrap of material.  After appliqueing the whole thing, I used buttons for the eyes and nose.

I have to say that as I was making this particular panel, I became more and more proud of myself.  I turned out much cuter than I expected.  And it is entirely my own creation!!  I'm already planning out my panel for next month!

If You Want My Advice #2

I love giving gifts.  I spend time thinking about the person and try to find that perfect gift, the thing that they really need or have mentioned that they really want.  I try to find something that matches them.  I love getting gifts.  I love it when someone comes up with something just right for me.  Something that tells me that they have put some thought into the gift-giving experience.  But I am also convinced that the perfect gift can be something that isn't a thing at all.  We all have plenty of things, don't we?  How many times have you said "Why do we have so much stuff?!"  Last year for Christmas, I gave my Dad two tickets to a Harlem Globetrotters game, one for him and one for me.  We went to the game together.  And it was a fun time.  Just doing something together.  This year my daughter gave me and Tom two nights in Mendocino so we could explore the north coast.  That was the perfect gift.  Time away with my favorite person, seeing part of the state that we don't get to very often. 
So as I contemplated what to do for my Dad's birthday, I wanted something that would be perfect.  I was thinking about what I would want to tell him that would be special, other than "I love you."  He knows I love him.  But I've never told him what he has taught me.  So that is what I gave him.  His birthday is today.  Last night some family members gathered to celebrate his 77th birthday.  I got a nice birthday card and on a separate sheet of paper I wrote out some of the things he has taught me. 
My dad taught me to honor my commitments.  He and my mom were married for 50 years.  For the last several years of my mom's life, she was not able to get around or do much.  I never heard my dad complain about his world closing in as hers did.  Instead I saw him honor her by always being with her, by caring for her and by being a loving, attentive husband. 
My dad taught me to adapt to change.  He was a career Air Force man during the Viet Nam War and because of that, we would have to move often, sometimes with very little notice.  By his example, I learned to go with the changes without complaint, recognizing that this was the life we lived.  When my mom died, my dad grieved, but then accepted that he had to move on with his life.  He was 72 years and knew that he needed someone in his life.  So he told my brother and I that he was going to start dating, with the goal to find someone special.  And he found someone perfect for him.  Dawn was also widowed.  She cares for Dad and Dad cares for her.  They travel together, laugh together and share life.
My dad taught me to being accepting of others.  There probably are people that my dad doesn't especially like, but I can't really guess who they are because he doesn't treat people differently.  Everyone was accepted into our home. 
There are so many other things I could list that my dad taught me, but you get the point.  His birthday was the perfect chance to give my dad a special gift.  
   

If You Want My Advice #1

I have found that it is the little things that make a big difference.  Making your bed in the morning is one of those little things.  I know, you want to sleep as late as you possibly can so you have your morning routine timed to the millisecond.  Shower, groom, dress, grab coffee and head out the door.  But you'd be surprised at how much just making your bed can change things for you later in the day. 
Just pulling the covers up and smoothing them out makes the rest of the room seem tidier and more inviting.  You can have clutter elsewhere, but when the bed looks neat, everything looks neat.  An army of dust bunnies can be amassing under the bed, but when the top of the bed is tidy, it somehow holds back the masses.  Of course, you'll want to start with a bed that is simple to make.  Give up on the hospital corners and don't knock yourself out if you can't bounce a quarter on the thing.  Just grab the covers all together and pull them up, fluff the pillows and lay them where the top of the covers are.  No one will know that you did a somewhat haphazard job.  It will look much better already.  If you have an array of decorative pillows that were pushed to the floor the night before, pick them up and spread them around.  Now the floor is clear and the pillows are hiding any other lumps that may have been missed.  Doesn't it look better already?  It takes just seconds but makes a big improvement.  I usually make my bed while I'm swishing mouthwash around in my mouth or waiting for the curling iron to heat up.  That's about how long it takes. 
At the other end of the day, when you walk into the bedroom, everything seems more inviting.  You won't have to sort out the covers.  One person hogged the covers, they're laying half on and half off the bed, pillows have been flung aside.  You want to GO to bed but you have to MAKE the bed before climbing in.  Making the bed in the morning eliminates this routine.  And because the covers have been smoothed out all day, the material feels so much better on your skin.  You can peel the covers back, lay your head on the pillow and fall asleep.  Sleep well!    

Jewelry Making

My creative juices started flowing when I decided to learn how to sew.  Now I've added another outlet for creativity.  I'm teaching myself how to make my own jewelry.  It came about because I love jewelry but couldn't always find exactly what I wanted.  I decided that I would just make my own.  It's been going pretty well.  I went to a bead shop, U Bead It, with my friend Evelyn.  I bought a set of tools - wire cutters and crimpers.  I bought a how-to book.  And I bought an assortment of beads.  Here is my first necklace:

It's pretty long so I usually wear it doubled.  I made a couple more necklaces before moving on to earrings.

I enjoy making earrings more than anything.  It's fun and I can get a lot of satisfaction out of it.  I'm really liking all of the earrings I've made.

This is a pair of earrings with a matching necklace.  The necklace took me a long time to make.  I kept taking it apart because it wasn't working out the way I wanted it.  I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out in the end.

This is a pair of earrings with a matching bracelet.  I love this bracelet.  It's made with memory wire.  It just wraps around your wrist.  It was so easy to make.

I'm really enjoying this new hobby.  I love going to the bead shop and looking at beads, waiting for inspiration.  Making the jewelry is a satisfying form of therapy for me.  And I get new earrings, bracelets and necklaces anytime I want them.  My next project may have to be a way to store all these new things. 

Sew Some Towels

Tom gave me a challenge a couple of weeks ago: get some new kitchen towels and embellish them to match our table linens.  I do believe in stealing ideas, so I went on-line to see what other people have done.  I found someone who bought plain white kitchen towels and sewed their own material to "personalize" them.  They sewed a five inch strip from one side to the other and then sewed a two-inch contrasting piece both above and below the larger strip.  It looked easy, was within my capabilities and was totally cute.  I decided to do the same.  I went to Target and bought some white kitchen towels.  When I got them home I looked at them more closely and noticed that the edges of the towels had a rather thick hem and I didn't think that it would work to sew pieces of material onto those hem.  It would be way too thick.  So I did what I normally do: I changed my plan.  Since I didn't want to sew anything onto the thick hem, I would sew material up to the hem.  It would look too funny to then have the white hem out on the edge so diamonds would be a good idea.  This meant that I was going to have to actually do a little math.  The towels were 14.5" from one hem to the other.  I wanted four diamonds sewed on.  I had to figure out how wide each diamond would have to be to fit without any overlapping.  After some calculating, I needed each diamond to be 3 7/8" across after the seam allowance.  I cut out the diamonds and pinned them onto all four towels before sewing any of them.  It took me quite awhile to do the pinning in order to get everything lined up right.  I discovered that during the sewing process, there was a little bit of shifting, but for the most part the diamonds ended up pretty up where they were supposed to. 

And I STILL have more of that material left!! 

Sew, So Cute

From the "Sew, So Cute" book

My own creation

I came across a Mary Engelbrite sewing book at the library called "Sew, So Cute."  There was a pattern in it for pot holders.  Since I still have material left from the placemats and table runner, I decided to make some new pot holders to match.  It went pretty well.  I only sewed the "wrong sides" together and had to rip it out once.  I knew how to sew on the binding from doing the placemats, but couldn't remember every little detail.   I was determined not to have to ask my sister-in-law for any help, so I just started with what I thought would work, did it wrong and had to do it over on the first pot holder.  As I was re-doing it, I had a couple of "Oh yeah!" moments and everything started to come back to me, which made the second one go so much better.  While I was at it, I made two other pot holders out of the same material but with a different pattern.  These went much quicker since there is no binding.  I really like making things for my kitchen!! 

Sew and Iron-On

The dining room remodel changed so many things and one of them was that the curtains in there didn't go anymore.  New curtains were in order.  I knew that I wanted to make them myself.  I love the idea that I have curtains in my house that NO ONE else anywhere has.  I started looking on-line for curtains that I could sew.  I found these tie-top curtains that I really liked.  I decided on an eyelet material because the window faces south, lets in lots of light and I really only wanted something that would frame the window.  I knew that the curtains would never be closed - we have window blinds there for privacy.  Tia and I found an off-white eyelet remnant at the fabric store on sale.  So, score one for me!  I had some of material left over from the table linens that I made and that would be what I used for the ties, but it wasn't quite enough.  Luckily, the fabric store still had that fabric.  Tia says that I am VERY lucky.  Most times when you want a little bit more of a material, when you go back to the store they don't have it anymore.  Score another one for me!!  I started by stitching around the sides and bottom.  Because the curtains are always going to be tied back, I did a curve around the inner corner so the curtain would fall right.  (Tia's suggestion.  I never would have thought of that.)  I then stitched across the top.  I used a scrap of material to test the right length and width of the ties so that they would look right and tie right.  I made twenty ties.  Two would be "paired up" and I thought five per curtain would be adequate.  I pinned them on to see how it looked and discovered that I really needed seven sets to hold each curtain just right.  But the material was floppy.  I consulted with Tia and she told me to use interfacing to stiffen the material.  I should try to get one-inch wide interfacing that I could iron on.  Interfacing?  I'd never heard of that.  I figured that I'd go to the fabric store and there would be a lovely display of interfacing, easily marked and simple to select.  When I got there, I saw no lovely display.  I saw no interfacing display at all.  I asked the clerk and was told that she was new, didn't really sew and wasn't at all sure what I was talking about.  At least she was honest.  But she did take me to some bolts of something that were not called interfacing but were probably what I wanted.  There were some that were thick and some that were thin.  Some had to be sewn on and some had to be ironed on.  What to do?  The clerk was no more help than that so I was on my own.  I decided that since my material was pretty thin, I should go with the thinner choice.  And I knew I wanted the iron-on option.  But this was on a bolt, not in a nice package that was one-inch wide.  So now I had to decide how much to get.  The new, non-sewing clerk did know that most people got a quarter of a yard.  Since I didn't want to take a chance at not having enough, I got half of a yard.  I took my "interfacing" home and cut it into one-inch yard strips, using about half of what I had bought.  I started ironing it on and discovered that there is a right side and a wrong side.  I found this out because the interfacing was sticking to the damp cloth that you use to protect the material, per the instructions.  Good thing I bought more than enough.  I sewed the ties on and hung my beautiful curtains.  But one curtain didn't look right at all.  In fact, it was a little shorter than the other.  Upon further investigation, I discovered that I had ironed on interfacing and sewn on ties to the SIDE of the curtain rather than the TOP of the curtain!!  Oh boy!!!  I ripped out the stitching on the ties and ironed-on more interfacing to the top.  Now it was REALLY a good thing I had bought more than enough.  I know myself really well.  I restitched the ties and, with some trepidation, hung the curtains again.  Perfect!!!  This project took considerably longer than I had thought it would,  but I'm very happy with the results.   

It Was Sew Easy

I had to take a break from sewing while the kitchen/dining room project was going on.  That project, though, has created new things to sew.  One of the things that I did as the dominoes were falling from the dining room down the hall was that I cleaned out the spare room in order to make it a real guest room and I moved all sewing/craft type projects into the den.  The den is now a den/project room.  While I was doing THAT, I decided to update things and wanted to make new curtains.  Up until now all of my sewing experiences have been done under the watchful guidance of my sister-in-law Tia.  But the days are busy for all of us and I was getting tired of waiting for her.  So last night I decided to just do it myself.  I had bought a basic sewing book and one of the chapters included how to make simple curtains.  I took a deep breath and started in.  I was nervous that I would make a wrong cut or an uneven stitch.  But in just two hours, I had finished!!!!!!   It was my very own, completely on my own sewing project!!  I'm so pleased.  I really can do it!!!   At one point as I was sitting at the sewing machine, humming along, Tom walked into the room and said "My wife.  Look at her sewing!!"  It made me smile.  And so do the new curtains. 

Countdown - Day 137

My plan was to lose twenty-five pounds.  All of the changes that I am making are changes for a lifetime.  I need to be smarter about my food choices and smarter about my exercising.  I feel that these changes have been positive.  I'm happy with them.  But I have been stalled out.  I haven't been able to get past the seventeen pound mark for some now.  So when a friend suggested that we take the Body Fit Challenge at California Family Fitness, I was jazzed.  It would provide that jump-start that I need.  Today was the first day.  There are five of us in our group.  We have a personal trainer working with us.  We'll be together for eight weeks.  We worked with the exercise ball.  We did lunges.  We did sit-ups and planks.  We worked with weights.  It felt good.  I'm excited that I'll be working out with people, being encouraged and encouraging others.  This is just what I needed. 

Sew, a Needle Pulling Thread

The material that I bought for my new tablecloth was fraying so Tia and I decided that we would not wash it before serging it.  A couple days afterward, I washed the tablecloth.  It shrunk.  It shrunk so much that it didn't fit the table any more.  We went back to the fabric store and found another piece of material that matched the color scheme even better.  I hope little monkey wrenches like this don't always happen when you're working on a sewing project, but I have a feeling they do. 

I love the colors!

 
On Thursday, Tia and I pieced together the table runner and started cutting out the strips of material for the placemats.  Using her serger, we made napkins and a new tablecloth.  If I had my own serger, I'd probably have a napkin of the week!!  I loved how fast and easy it was.  A tablecloth and eight napkins were made in an hour.  Tia did some quilting on the table runner for me and taught me how to hand stitich the sashing that would go around the entire piece.  Hand stitching?  Me?  Um, I've sewn on buttons. And poked my fingers with the needle whenever I did so.  But Tia is a patient teacher.  She showed me how to do the stitch so that the thread was hidden.  We had a trip to Ashland, Oregon coming up on the weekend. I would have 4 1/2 hours up and 4 1/2 hours back to do the stitching.  I was actually excited. I was hoping I would be as good a student as Tia is a teacher.  But the idea that I might go from idea to finished product was almost making me giddy.  I was making something that no one else anywhere would have. 
We left for Ashland on Saturday morning.  I started doing my hand stitching after we had been on the road for an hour.  I was taking it slow and carefully.  I can proudly say that I did not poke myself once.  It wasn't as hard as I was expecting it to be.  It was actually relaxing.  Who would have thought?  As we were pulling into Ashland, I was putting in the last stitch.  I had finished!!!!!!  The table runner is beautiful.  More beautiful than I had envisioned.  I love it. 





A closer look



Even closer







The back

You Have to Think to Sew

My fabric. The tablecloth is on the bottom.

My sister-in-law Tia and I now have a standing "sewing date" on Thursdays.  Since learning to sew is best done with a project to work toward, I decided that I wanted new table linens: tablecloth, placemats, napkins and a table runner.  I was looking ahead; all of those things required only straight lines.  We went to the fabric store to chose the fabric.  I knew the color scheme that I wanted.  We started pulling out bolts of cloth and leaning them together to see how they fit.  I felt like I was being creative.  I said "Hmm." and "Well, maybe..."  or "Wait, how about this one!"  We found what we thought we wanted and then I saw a piece of material that was perfect for the tablecloth.  The only problem was that it didn't go with ANY of the other material.  We pulled out more bolts and leaned them together with the new material as a backdrop.  Did creative people always change their minds?  Was I making Tia crazy by adding too many bolts to the mix?  Tia assured me that this was normal and part of the process.  Finally we found the right combination.  It had all the right colors and the right amount of large pattern vs. small pattern.  
Since the material that I choose for the tablecloth was exactly the right size for my table, all that had to be done to it was to serge the edge.  Tia had brought her serger over and off I went.  Nervous, but excited.  Nervous that I was going to be The One Who Broke the Serger.  But excited that this part would be quick and easy.  Instant gratification.  In just a few short minutes I had a tablecloth. 
Next was "creating" the pattern for the placemats.  I had four different fabrics and I knew that I wanted all four to be involved somehow.  We played around with how it would look.  We changed our minds.  I looked on the internet for some placemat ideas.  I finally found one that I liked and we adapted it.  Actually I use "we" but I mean "Tia."  Tia has been sewing for so long, she can quickly convert lengths and measures.  I was left in the dust when the placemat I wanted to copy was 14x20 and I wanted it to be 12x18.  I'm see that I'm going to have to get better at adding 2 1/4 inches to 5 3/8 inches in my head.  Maybe I should get some flashcards for that. 
At the end of our session, I had a tablecloth and knew what the placemats would look like. 

So I Can Sew

My mother was a seamstress.  She made all of my school dresses until I was in junior high.  She sewed clothes for my dolls.  She made pajamas for my brothers and clothes for herself.  Her sewing machine was always set up and had a project sitting on it.  Seeing my mom sew was a fixture of my childhood.  I had no interest in learning to sew.  She would often ask me if I wanted to sew and my answer was always no.  I am pretty confident that that was a disappointment to my mom.  But I wanted to establish a difference between my mom and I and one way for me to do that was to refuse sewing lessions.  I did take a Home Ec. class in the seventh grade.  Sewing was part of the class.  I made a skirt.  It was hideous and I never wore it.  When my husband and I were married, my mother-in-law asked if I would be interested in a sewing machine as a wedding gift.  I told her that I didn't sew and wasn't planning to learn.  She bought us a sewing machine for a wedding present.  I was...curious.  For many years, we used the machine as a door stop to keep the door leading from the house to the garage open when I was doing laundry.  I loaned that machine to an acquaintance and never got it back.  I was not distraught.  When my mother-in-law recently passed away, my father-in-law asked if any of his daughters wanted her sewing machine.  Since they all have their own, they said no.  He asked me if I wanted it.  My sister-in-law said that if I wanted her to, she would teach me to use it.  So at 53 years of age, I am learning to sew.  I hope my mom is watching. 

Countdown - Day 110

I really am taking my time with my weight loss.  I do have the goal of losing 25 pounds; there's no doubt about that.  But the bigger picture is that I am changing the way I eat and the way I think about food.  I know that food is a comfort at times and I am trying to find better ways of dealing with stress.  One way is the work I am doing in my backyard.  The work is both physical and therapeutic.  Food is also a way to combat boredom.  When I start to eat for no apparent reason, i.e. I am really not hungry, I pull out my Kindle and read instead, or I get Willie to play HallBall with me.  I know that there are many foods that I enjoy to eat that are no good for me, like chocolate or ice cream.  I have found that as I eliminate these things from my diet, I crave them less often and when I do decide to indulge, I only need a small amount and I am satisfied.  So why is it taking this long to lose the remaining eight pounds?  I'm not sure.  I know that I'm not stressing over it.  It'll happen.  We did go on our seven-day cruise and I gained three pounds while we were gone.  And I lost those three pounds within a couple of days of returning home.  So I'll keep looking at my diet everyday to see if there are other changes that can be made.  For now, my weight loss is 17 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 83

I am not a keeper.  I go through things in my house often and get rid of things that I'm not using anymore.  Other than seasonal items and a few sentimental things, I weed things out pretty often.  I do, however, tend to keep clothes that I hope I can get back into "some day."  It's a good thing I did that because I've been able to pull pants out of the top of my closet that I had been saving.  Some of them don't fit with the style that I want for myself now.  Some of them look great on me again.  I just spent an hour going through my entire closet.  I filled seven big bags with clothes that are too big or don't make me feel good when I put them on.  It was a good purge.  In getting ready for the cruise that we're going on, I now have a good picture of what I have and what I need to buy.  We're going to Alaska, where the high temps these days will be in the upper 60s and low 70s.  I've lost most of my weight since our weather turned to the 90s.  Time to go shopping!! 

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 82

I haven't lost any more weight since early June.  I'm not discouraged by that.  I intended to lose the weight slowly, doing so by changing my eating habits and by figuring out what fits into that new plan and what doesn't.  I'm at the point now where I can tell just how much I need to be eating, what I need to be eating and what to change in order to lose any more pounds.  I can easily manage my new weight.  That is important to me because once I've reached my goal, I don't want to gain weight again.  It's also important because in a week, Tom and I will be on a 7-day cruise in Alaska.  I need to be able to maintain this through that vacation.  I am planning on getting back on track for the remaining ten pounds that I want to lose once we return home.  But I didn't want to have to be dieting on the cruise.  So the past three weeks have been instructional for me.  I CAN go on a cruise and not be afraid of gaining weight.  I'm very excited about that.  The temptations have gotten easier and easier to deal with.  One day I did have a little bit of birthday cake at a birthday party.  Afterward, my stomach was queasy and I decided that eating the cake was just not satisfying.  I feel confident that my "sweet tooth" has been tamed.  This is a good thing.