Jane Trafzer Memorial

I read this at my mother-in-law's memorial service today:

I am Debbie Trafzer. I am Jane's daughter-in-law. One doesn't usually get to choose the family that comes with one's mate. But if ever there were a family worth choosing, this one is it. What began with Tom and Jane 60 years ago has become a wonderfully special family. And Jane was at the heart of it.

When Tom and I got married, Mom got me a sewing machine for a wedding present. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't sew. But for Mom it was just a given that you would sew and mend. When I decided that I wanted to learn to make grape jam and needed a sieve, she searched and found one for me. When we were looking for a piano so that our daughter Wendy could take lessons, Mom looked for and found one for us. For Mom it was natural that you would do things yourself, fix things yourself and learn things for yourself. She taught me to be self-reliant and economical. I remember once going with Mom and Dad and Tom to their cabin above Georgetown. She cooked dinner on the hearth of the fireplace, a roast and potatoes. I never forgot that and some years ago when our electricity went out I was able to duplicate that meal in our wood stove. I never would have thought of doing it if it hadn't been for Mom's example.

We would have big family gatherings at their house in El Dorado hills. My best memories are of walking into the kitchen to see Mom cooking with one of her daughters. Or sitting on the floor in the living room reading to the grandkids. Or rocking the newest baby in the rocking chair. I loved Grandma's library. She would go to book signings and buy autographed books for the grandkids. At Christmas, each child knew that there would be a box of books from Grandma.

We could count o birthday dinners and Mother's Day brunch. She was at the grandkids' graduations and weddings. She enjoyed our Thai food outings and Starbucks Thursdays. When we got together for holidays, the first words out of her mouth were "What can I bring?"

I know that Mom was proud of each of her four children. She adored each grandchild - there are 11. And she was pleased with each great-grandchild - we're now at 7. Each of you were precious and special to her.

Mom was generous and giving. She was intelligent and honest. Even though I married into the family, she made me feel as though I was her daughter. She was accepting. She was loving. I will miss her.