It Was Sew Easy

I had to take a break from sewing while the kitchen/dining room project was going on.  That project, though, has created new things to sew.  One of the things that I did as the dominoes were falling from the dining room down the hall was that I cleaned out the spare room in order to make it a real guest room and I moved all sewing/craft type projects into the den.  The den is now a den/project room.  While I was doing THAT, I decided to update things and wanted to make new curtains.  Up until now all of my sewing experiences have been done under the watchful guidance of my sister-in-law Tia.  But the days are busy for all of us and I was getting tired of waiting for her.  So last night I decided to just do it myself.  I had bought a basic sewing book and one of the chapters included how to make simple curtains.  I took a deep breath and started in.  I was nervous that I would make a wrong cut or an uneven stitch.  But in just two hours, I had finished!!!!!!   It was my very own, completely on my own sewing project!!  I'm so pleased.  I really can do it!!!   At one point as I was sitting at the sewing machine, humming along, Tom walked into the room and said "My wife.  Look at her sewing!!"  It made me smile.  And so do the new curtains. 

Countdown - Day 137

My plan was to lose twenty-five pounds.  All of the changes that I am making are changes for a lifetime.  I need to be smarter about my food choices and smarter about my exercising.  I feel that these changes have been positive.  I'm happy with them.  But I have been stalled out.  I haven't been able to get past the seventeen pound mark for some now.  So when a friend suggested that we take the Body Fit Challenge at California Family Fitness, I was jazzed.  It would provide that jump-start that I need.  Today was the first day.  There are five of us in our group.  We have a personal trainer working with us.  We'll be together for eight weeks.  We worked with the exercise ball.  We did lunges.  We did sit-ups and planks.  We worked with weights.  It felt good.  I'm excited that I'll be working out with people, being encouraged and encouraging others.  This is just what I needed. 

Sew, a Needle Pulling Thread

The material that I bought for my new tablecloth was fraying so Tia and I decided that we would not wash it before serging it.  A couple days afterward, I washed the tablecloth.  It shrunk.  It shrunk so much that it didn't fit the table any more.  We went back to the fabric store and found another piece of material that matched the color scheme even better.  I hope little monkey wrenches like this don't always happen when you're working on a sewing project, but I have a feeling they do. 

I love the colors!

 
On Thursday, Tia and I pieced together the table runner and started cutting out the strips of material for the placemats.  Using her serger, we made napkins and a new tablecloth.  If I had my own serger, I'd probably have a napkin of the week!!  I loved how fast and easy it was.  A tablecloth and eight napkins were made in an hour.  Tia did some quilting on the table runner for me and taught me how to hand stitich the sashing that would go around the entire piece.  Hand stitching?  Me?  Um, I've sewn on buttons. And poked my fingers with the needle whenever I did so.  But Tia is a patient teacher.  She showed me how to do the stitch so that the thread was hidden.  We had a trip to Ashland, Oregon coming up on the weekend. I would have 4 1/2 hours up and 4 1/2 hours back to do the stitching.  I was actually excited. I was hoping I would be as good a student as Tia is a teacher.  But the idea that I might go from idea to finished product was almost making me giddy.  I was making something that no one else anywhere would have. 
We left for Ashland on Saturday morning.  I started doing my hand stitching after we had been on the road for an hour.  I was taking it slow and carefully.  I can proudly say that I did not poke myself once.  It wasn't as hard as I was expecting it to be.  It was actually relaxing.  Who would have thought?  As we were pulling into Ashland, I was putting in the last stitch.  I had finished!!!!!!  The table runner is beautiful.  More beautiful than I had envisioned.  I love it. 





A closer look



Even closer







The back

You Have to Think to Sew

My fabric. The tablecloth is on the bottom.

My sister-in-law Tia and I now have a standing "sewing date" on Thursdays.  Since learning to sew is best done with a project to work toward, I decided that I wanted new table linens: tablecloth, placemats, napkins and a table runner.  I was looking ahead; all of those things required only straight lines.  We went to the fabric store to chose the fabric.  I knew the color scheme that I wanted.  We started pulling out bolts of cloth and leaning them together to see how they fit.  I felt like I was being creative.  I said "Hmm." and "Well, maybe..."  or "Wait, how about this one!"  We found what we thought we wanted and then I saw a piece of material that was perfect for the tablecloth.  The only problem was that it didn't go with ANY of the other material.  We pulled out more bolts and leaned them together with the new material as a backdrop.  Did creative people always change their minds?  Was I making Tia crazy by adding too many bolts to the mix?  Tia assured me that this was normal and part of the process.  Finally we found the right combination.  It had all the right colors and the right amount of large pattern vs. small pattern.  
Since the material that I choose for the tablecloth was exactly the right size for my table, all that had to be done to it was to serge the edge.  Tia had brought her serger over and off I went.  Nervous, but excited.  Nervous that I was going to be The One Who Broke the Serger.  But excited that this part would be quick and easy.  Instant gratification.  In just a few short minutes I had a tablecloth. 
Next was "creating" the pattern for the placemats.  I had four different fabrics and I knew that I wanted all four to be involved somehow.  We played around with how it would look.  We changed our minds.  I looked on the internet for some placemat ideas.  I finally found one that I liked and we adapted it.  Actually I use "we" but I mean "Tia."  Tia has been sewing for so long, she can quickly convert lengths and measures.  I was left in the dust when the placemat I wanted to copy was 14x20 and I wanted it to be 12x18.  I'm see that I'm going to have to get better at adding 2 1/4 inches to 5 3/8 inches in my head.  Maybe I should get some flashcards for that. 
At the end of our session, I had a tablecloth and knew what the placemats would look like. 

So I Can Sew

My mother was a seamstress.  She made all of my school dresses until I was in junior high.  She sewed clothes for my dolls.  She made pajamas for my brothers and clothes for herself.  Her sewing machine was always set up and had a project sitting on it.  Seeing my mom sew was a fixture of my childhood.  I had no interest in learning to sew.  She would often ask me if I wanted to sew and my answer was always no.  I am pretty confident that that was a disappointment to my mom.  But I wanted to establish a difference between my mom and I and one way for me to do that was to refuse sewing lessions.  I did take a Home Ec. class in the seventh grade.  Sewing was part of the class.  I made a skirt.  It was hideous and I never wore it.  When my husband and I were married, my mother-in-law asked if I would be interested in a sewing machine as a wedding gift.  I told her that I didn't sew and wasn't planning to learn.  She bought us a sewing machine for a wedding present.  I was...curious.  For many years, we used the machine as a door stop to keep the door leading from the house to the garage open when I was doing laundry.  I loaned that machine to an acquaintance and never got it back.  I was not distraught.  When my mother-in-law recently passed away, my father-in-law asked if any of his daughters wanted her sewing machine.  Since they all have their own, they said no.  He asked me if I wanted it.  My sister-in-law said that if I wanted her to, she would teach me to use it.  So at 53 years of age, I am learning to sew.  I hope my mom is watching. 

Countdown - Day 110

I really am taking my time with my weight loss.  I do have the goal of losing 25 pounds; there's no doubt about that.  But the bigger picture is that I am changing the way I eat and the way I think about food.  I know that food is a comfort at times and I am trying to find better ways of dealing with stress.  One way is the work I am doing in my backyard.  The work is both physical and therapeutic.  Food is also a way to combat boredom.  When I start to eat for no apparent reason, i.e. I am really not hungry, I pull out my Kindle and read instead, or I get Willie to play HallBall with me.  I know that there are many foods that I enjoy to eat that are no good for me, like chocolate or ice cream.  I have found that as I eliminate these things from my diet, I crave them less often and when I do decide to indulge, I only need a small amount and I am satisfied.  So why is it taking this long to lose the remaining eight pounds?  I'm not sure.  I know that I'm not stressing over it.  It'll happen.  We did go on our seven-day cruise and I gained three pounds while we were gone.  And I lost those three pounds within a couple of days of returning home.  So I'll keep looking at my diet everyday to see if there are other changes that can be made.  For now, my weight loss is 17 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 83

I am not a keeper.  I go through things in my house often and get rid of things that I'm not using anymore.  Other than seasonal items and a few sentimental things, I weed things out pretty often.  I do, however, tend to keep clothes that I hope I can get back into "some day."  It's a good thing I did that because I've been able to pull pants out of the top of my closet that I had been saving.  Some of them don't fit with the style that I want for myself now.  Some of them look great on me again.  I just spent an hour going through my entire closet.  I filled seven big bags with clothes that are too big or don't make me feel good when I put them on.  It was a good purge.  In getting ready for the cruise that we're going on, I now have a good picture of what I have and what I need to buy.  We're going to Alaska, where the high temps these days will be in the upper 60s and low 70s.  I've lost most of my weight since our weather turned to the 90s.  Time to go shopping!! 

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 82

I haven't lost any more weight since early June.  I'm not discouraged by that.  I intended to lose the weight slowly, doing so by changing my eating habits and by figuring out what fits into that new plan and what doesn't.  I'm at the point now where I can tell just how much I need to be eating, what I need to be eating and what to change in order to lose any more pounds.  I can easily manage my new weight.  That is important to me because once I've reached my goal, I don't want to gain weight again.  It's also important because in a week, Tom and I will be on a 7-day cruise in Alaska.  I need to be able to maintain this through that vacation.  I am planning on getting back on track for the remaining ten pounds that I want to lose once we return home.  But I didn't want to have to be dieting on the cruise.  So the past three weeks have been instructional for me.  I CAN go on a cruise and not be afraid of gaining weight.  I'm very excited about that.  The temptations have gotten easier and easier to deal with.  One day I did have a little bit of birthday cake at a birthday party.  Afterward, my stomach was queasy and I decided that eating the cake was just not satisfying.  I feel confident that my "sweet tooth" has been tamed.  This is a good thing.    

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 62

One day a couple of weeks ago I was working at the library and a former employee came in with her son. She hadn't seen me in about a year. She said that I looked different. Was it my hair? No. She said I looked better, like I was wearing my clothes better. I told her I had lost weight and she said "It looks good on you."  I'll take that as a compliment.
I am enjoying my new way of eating.  Food tastes really good.  I have more energy and can go without eating between meals, except for that 3 pm slump.  But I did hit that plateau of 12 pounds lost.  It was frustrating and unexplainable.  I couldn't figure out what I had changed.  But I was determined to just keep doing what I was doing.  Keep eating protein and vegetables, with fruit just a couple times a week.  Keep saying no to bread and sweets, with a treat only rarely.  Keep drinking 2+ liters of water every day.  Keep walking Willie.  And this morning I got on the scale.  My total weight lost is now 15 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 53

I haven't lost any weight since May 17.  No weight loss in ten days.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe I've hit a plateau.  Maybe I need to add something to my exercise routine.  I admit that I am getting discouraged.  Every day when I step on the bathroom scale, I see that my weight is the same.  And I groan a little inside.  Now, I am halfway to my goal of losing twenty-five pounds.  I still have just over five months to go, so I have lots of time.  Now is NOT the time to give up.  But there is also no WAY I'm going to back off on my goal.  I'll figure out how to lose the rest of the weight. 

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 43

I admit that I did not take Willie on a walk this morning.  I know, I did promise him an hour a day, every day.  But it was cold and windy and rainy.  I don't mind walking in the rain; I've already talked about that.  But it was COLD and WINDY and rainy.  I do love that kind of weather, but not for walking.  It is quite unusual for Northern California to have cold, windy, rainy weather in the middle of May.  I enjoy it.  But not for walking.  So Willie and I stayed in today.  I started out the morning with a cozy blanket on my lap and he was content to lay there and be petted.  But as the day wore on, it became apparent that Willie did need an outlet for his energy.  So we played Hall Ball for two hours.  Hall Ball is a game invented by my husband Tom and Willie.  Tom will stand in the entrance to our dining room and kick a ball down the hall.  Willie will run after the ball and bring it back.  He will plop it at Tom's feet and Tom will kick it again.  Sometimes Willie blocks the ball and sometimes he doesn't.  No matter what, he picks up the ball and plops it at Tom's feet.  This is a game that is mostly played by Tom and Willie.  I've played this game with Willie a couple of times but I can always tell that I'm not playing it quite like Tom does.  Today I started playing Hall Ball just to keep Willie from barking at the tree blowing in the wind.  He thinks the tree is moving because squirrels are leaping from branch to branch.  Willie doesn't understand wind.  We played for two hours.  Willie kept bringing the ball back and I kept kicking it.  I know that I didn't get the benefit of a long walk.  But Willie enjoyed the two hours of play.  We'll get our walk in tomorrow.  Today we had to make due.  My  total weight lost today is 12 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 41

I was doing a little shopping with a friend today.  Her daughter is graduating from college in  two weeks and she was looking for something to wear to the event.  I went along for moral support.  But I did take some things into the dressing room.  I have been feeling pretty good about the weight loss so far and thought I might find a cute sundress for summer.  It must not have been my day because nothing that I chose looked good on me.  In fact a couple of dresses made me look like I'd GAINED weight.  In the past I would have left the store discouraged.  But today I left feeling more resolved to keep up with my new diet.  It was a good thing. 

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 39

I'm seeing some super results because of my diet.  My energy level is high, which is good.  But I can now fit into some clothes that I couldn't just a couple months ago and that is great!!  I had put some things up in the top of my closet that I couldn't fit into.  You know, those "I hope I can get back into these some day" clothes.  Well, I pulled down a pair of pants today and I could fit into them!!!!  My diet isn't at all boring but I'll admit that sometimes I really want some ice cream or chocolate.  I just don't want to start down that road.  I'm afraid once I do, I won't be able to stop.  And I am hungry a lot, especially in the late afternoon.  Finding satisfying snacks that don't pack too much of a calorie punch has been a challenge.  Getting that boost today in being able to wear something again though helps me to keep it going.  I feel successful.  My total weight loss so far is 10 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 33

I just got back from a week in Washington DC.  It wasn't a pleasure trip; I was there because my brother-in-law is in the hospital and I needed to be with my sister-in-law.  Needless to say, the stress level was high and the routine was different.  But the point of the trip is a subject for another day.  Because everything was different, I was a little anxious when I got on the scale this morning.  I was trying to watch what I ate and make wise choices.  I wasn't able to go on my hour-long walks every morning, but we did have to walk five very long blocks to the Metro station every day.  But I didn't gain anything and I didn't lose anything.  Whew!  My weight loss is still 8 pounds. 

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 22

I made it through Easter without eating candy.  I think that's the first time in my life that that has happened.  It felt good.  At the end of the day I was proud of myself.  It hasn't been a great week for weight loss.  I'm not sure why.  But I do notice a greater sense of energy and my clothes are fitting differently.  When I look in the mirror, I feel positive.  And I can tell that the habits I'm forming are taking root.  It has become easier to figure out how to eat properly when I eat out.  Its been three weeks and my total weight loss is 8 pounds.

A Man Like Bob

I first met Bob Lankford twelve years ago. He and his wife Nettie went to the church that my husband and I had just joined. He was in his late 60s but looked and acted like a far younger man. He was big and strong. His energy seemed boundless. I just knew him as Bob, the guy who was involved in many aspects of the church - elder, Sunday School manager, custodian, usher, men's leader. He was one of those people who is intimidating when you first meet him. He seemed bigger than life and a great pillar of the faith. As time went by, I noticed that he was never afraid to say yes to whatever needed to get done. I would drive past the church and see him pulling weeds. I would come into the church for a meeting and he would be there first, setting up rooms. We didn't have a lot of interaction, but I regarded him as someone to look up to.
About five years ago, Nettie befriended me and pulled me into their world. Nettie was also a pillar in the church and I felt far beneath that status, but our friendship grew. Tom and I had the opportunity to get to know her and Bob on a more intimate basis. We went to dinner or lunch often and were fortunate enough to be in a small group together. They were still our elders and still giants of the faith, but I was able to see them both on a different level. I started to see Bob's humor and his way of looking at the world. I saw how deeply he loved his wife and family. Bob was the kind of man who always helped Nettie into and out of the car. He always held her arm as they walked into and out of a building. Nettie suffered a series of small strokes and Bob was rarely away from her. He did their cooking and their shopping when Nettie was no longer able to do so herself. He cared for her in that way that you hope your own spouse will do for you. Bob was the kind of man you wanted your husband to know.
Bob developed cancer about five years ago and beat it that time. The cancer came back about a year ago and took him away from us on April 15. He had just turned 80 years old. My husband and I attended his memorial service yesterday morning. We got to hear from his two adult children. We heard from one of his grandsons. We heard from two pastors who knew Bob. The theme that ran throughout was that Bob loved God and loved his family. He was funny and wise. He was ready to play a joke on you, but he was also there whenever you had a problem. He was humble and open. He knew that he was perfect. He was honorable and kind.
My life has been enriched because I knew Bob.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 15

I'm enjoying my new diet more than I thought I would. I eat protein and vegetables, with just a little fruit a couple times a week. So for breakfast, I saute colorful peppers, zucchini, red onion and sweet potato in olive oil and butter. Just before that is ready, I push the veggies out of the middle of the pan and drop in an egg so that everything cooks together. Its very fast and unbelieveably tasty. The best part is that it keeps me from getting hungry for longer than the carton of yogurt I used to have for breakfast. For lunch, I'll have a salad with a little cooked chicken or ham. Tom does all of our cooking for dinner and he hasn't changed how he cooks much, so I'm watching portions and loading up on the vegetables. I drink two liters or more of water every day. It isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I have a pitcher that holds two liters and I fill it up every morning and leave it on the counter in the kitchen so I can keep track of my progress. I do admit that I miss sweets and a couple of times its been very hard. My total weight loss so far is 5 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 11

One of my biggest tests with my new lifestyle so far came last evening. I attended a jewelry party at the home of a friend. I knew everyone there except for one woman, so it was an intimate, comfortable setting. The jewelry was laid out on two tables and we were free to try on anything and everything. The jewelry was beautiful and very well presented. We were all trying things on and commenting on how things looked on each other. It was so much fun being with these women. There was also lots of food, including two different cakes. Cakes are my downfall. I love love love sweets. Since I knew it was going to be a challenge, I ate a salad before I left home. So I spent as much time as possible trying on EVERYTHING, partly to keep me away from the food table. I talked with the other women. I poured over the catalog. And after an hour I ate two pieces of cheese. I had a glass of wine. I ate a little more cheese. One of my problems is that once I start eating I don't stop. Everything just tastes too good. This took all the will-power I could muster. I kept my focus on the people and the product. I did have a small piece of garlic bread. But I didn't have any cake. I know that I have to wait at least a month of this before I introduce even a small amount of sweets. When I walked away after the evening was over, I felt like a champion!!! I didn't overeat. I didn't have any cake. And I was able to keep my mind off the food. It was the best feeling ever.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 10

My commitment to walk for an hour every day included walking in the rain yesterday. It wasn't raining when Willie and I started out. It started raining about half-way through. I have always loved the rain. My family lived in Tacoma, Washington when I was in upper elementary school. It rains a lot in Tacoma and that might be where I developed such a love for walking in the rain. I remember wearing my rain boots and splashing in the puddles, riding my bike with my mouth open so I could catch raindrops on my tongue and helping many worms back into the grass. I love the freshness of the air during and after a rain. The smell of a coming storm makes me smile. Living in Northern California doesn't give me the opportunity to walk in the rain much, so I enjoy it whenever I can. I was wearing my big floppy hat, so my glasses didn't get wet. Willie didn't even seem to notice the raindrops. We just kept to our daily route. It was a most enjoyable morning.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 8

It has been one week since I started my life changes. I have lost 4 pounds. I'm REALLY jazzed by that. It is very encouraging. The last time I lost weight, it took a month for even one pound to come off, so this is great. I'm eating mostly protein and vegetables, with a little fruit every day. In order to make it easy, we always have cut up vegetables in the refrigerator. I do eat carbs but not nearly as much as I used to. Tom is gluten-free, so most of the carbs that I eat are also gluten-free. For the first six days, I had a headache most of the time and was hungry all of the time. The headache is now gone. I'm still hungry a lot, but I drink a big glass of water and it seems to make that feeling go away. Another great change has been my hour-long walks with Willie. I'm feeling strong and have LOTS more energy. Its interesting how expending energy gives you more energy. Willie is a very willing companion when it comes to getting outside. There have even been a couple of days, though, when he was actually lagging behind a bit toward the end of our walk. A bit of a test came for me yesterday at work. If there is chocolate available, I'm like a moth to a flame. Because it is National Library Week, our director came in to give us kudos. She brought some treats for the staff, including some chocolate. It took a great deal of will-power for me to keep from helping myself. But I was successful. I didn't have any chocolate. I know that if I had started, I wouldn't be able to stop. Chocolate is going to have to be a part of my life, but I need to get these good habits firmly intrenched before I attempt to have JUST a little.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 7

The changes that I am making to lose weight are changes for a lifetime. I'm retraining myself to make different choices with food, with drink and with exercise. So the question for the weekend was "Can my new lifestyle include a wine tasting trip?" Answer: yes.

Tom and I joined my brother Rick and his wife Pam for a day of wine tasting in the Shenendoah Valley. The day was beautiful. The sky was blue and the temperatures were in the upper 60s with just a hint of a breeze. My thoughtful husband planned ahead and packed meat and cheese, nuts, fruit and bottles of water. This insured that we wouldn't need to stop for a high calorie lunch.

We went to five wineries. They were all unique and interesting, as these small wineries in this area are. Each one had excellent wine. One of our stops included the Fitzgerald Winery. It sits at the top of a hill and the view from their patio is nothing short of spectacular. We sat and ate our lunch with a glass of their wine, looking out over the whole Shenendoah Valley. It just took your breath away, it was so beautiful. I could have stayed there the rest of the afternoon.

As fantastic as the day was though, the best part was spending time with my brother and his wife. Rick is two years younger than I. I kid him that he was always "Mom's favorite." Most of the time I'm not kidding. We've gotten closer the past few years than any other time in our lives, partly because of dealing with our Mom's accident and subsequent death. But also because we decided to make our relationship a priority. We purposefully plan get-togethers. Because he and Pam live 45 minutes south of us, it is a challenge, but well worth the time and effort. Pam and I are better than sisters-in-law. She's like a kindred spirit. As a working woman, she's very self-assured and capable in whatever setting she finds herself. She's a nurse and she worked for a time as a drug sales rep. This meant that she traveled around the Western U. S. alone. Its because of her that I first traveled on my own to visit my daughter in Connecticut. She's also talented and crafty at home, making her own tomato sauce, canning her own corn, running a little farm with my brother. We've gotten to be wonderful friends and I love talking to her and hearing her perspective on life. Bringing Pam into my family was one of the best things my brother did.

So, yes, wine-tasting is okay. Spending time with Rick and Pam is better than okay.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 5

Because I had gone to the River Cats game, I was up till midnight Thursday. By the time I was up and moving around it was almost 9 am. I started thinking about things I needed to get done that day - laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, paying bills. Then I remembered my commitment to Willie. And to myself. So we went for a walk.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 4

Last night was the opening game for the Sacramento River Cats. I'm not an avid fan of professional baseball, but I love watching Triple-A ball. I went with my Dad, his wife Dawn and Darci, the eight-year daughter of a friend. The game was exciting and the River Cats beat the Tacoma Rainiers 6-2. One big issue for me though: Would I have a hot dog and a beer? You see, one of the best reasons to go to a River Cats game is the uncomparable goodness of a stadium hot dog. I love the warm softness of the bun and the flavor of ketchup and relish combined with a hot steamy hot dog. And then to combine it with an icy cold beer is just heavenly. So when I think of making life changes, I have to decide whether a hot dog and a beer at a ball game fits that new mindset.

Yes, I had the hot dog. But I didn't eat it all. I did, however, enjoy every delicious bite.

No, I did not have the beer. After all, I was driving.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 3

In the past two days, I've eaten three meals in restaurants or fast food places. Since the changes that I'm making in order to lose weight are life changes, I don't see that as a bad thing. Going out to eat is something that I do. I like to meet people for lunch. My husband and I eat out often. So I need to retrain myself to make wise choices when I eat out.

The first meal out was with my Dad on Tuesday. I went to spend some time with him and we went out for lunch, as we often do. He decided that we should go to KFC. KFC isn't a place that I normally frequent, not because I don't like it but because when I think of KFC, I think of deep-fried everything. So on the drive there, I had a conversation with myself about being careful. I know they have mashed potatoes and corn on the menu, but the gravy and butter associated with those two options would render the food pretty much off limits. When we got to KFC, I saw the 5-piece Hot Wings - 350 calories. I added the green beans, which seemed to be mostly flavored water, for another 20 calories. The wings were pretty spicy, which was good. My taste buds were well satisfied. But spending time with my Dad was the point; doing it around food was incidental. It helped me to keep that perspective.

The next meal out was that same day. I meet a friend for dinner every Tuesday. We've been doing this for a couple of years and we enjoy the time together. We don't spend time on the phone during the week, so a weekly "date" keeps us in touch. Again, the time spent together is the point. We meet at a hamburger place called The Habit. They serve yummy, juice, drippy hamburgers and fantastically crispy sweet potato fries. This was going to be tough. But not impossible. I have found that eateries do offer sensible options. They're just not the main thing on the menu. You have to search for them. I ordered the Grilled Chicken Salad with low-fat Italian dressing. It had lots of crispy vegetables like lettuce, carrots and cucumbers and had a few strips of grilled chicken. It was very tasty, I felt great about my choice and, most importantly, I got to spend another lovely evening with a dear, dear friend. Its that all-important perspective.

The final meal out was last night. My husband and I have dinner with his Dad every Wednesday. We take turns being responsible for the arrangements. It was Dad's week, so he chose a sushi restaurant. I'm a recent sushi convert, so don't know much about its caloric content. I decided that the best option would be to leave the table hungry. My husband and I shared a couple of rolls. I paced myself and enjoyed every bite. But I stopped well before I would have otherwise and way before I was full.

As someone who enjoys food and eating out, these life changes are important. Challenging at times, but important.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 2

I've always been a morning person. I love getting up before everyone else in the house and enjoying the quiet, peacful time. I love the freshness of a new day. Here in Northern California, most of the year it is the only cool time of day. I'm married to a night-owl. Tom stays up late every night. He doesn't go to bed until midnight or after. We've managed to work out our different internal clocks in the 30+ years we've been married. I'm okay with him kissing good-night and going back out into the living room. He's okay with me climbing out of bed before him in the morning. For the past several months, I've started staying up later with him. It's been enjoyable to be able to watch movies together until midnight, but there has been an unintended consequence. Because I've been staying up later, I've been getting up later. And getting up later has meant that my time to walk and exercise is now spent sleeping in. So that is the first change to make.

I know myself well enough to know that if I don't get my exercising done in the morning, it just isn't going to happen. I need to exercise when my energy level is at its peak. For me, that's in the morning. So, good-bye late nights. I need to get to bed by 10:30. I need to get up by 6:30. Willie and I were walking early yesterday morning and this morning. It felt good. The air was fresh and clean. The dew was on the grass. We both had a spring in our step. It was a lovely day to be out early. I feel ready to take on whatever comes.

Countdown to the Wedding

My daughter is getting married on November 5, 2011. That's 7 months from today. Just under 31 weeks. Exactly 214 days. I'm happy about the wedding. I'm thrilled with the man she's going to marry. It's going to be an exciting and jubilant time. I am, however, NOT happy about my weight right now. I want to feel that I look good at my daughter's wedding. And more importantly, I want to FEEL better on that happy day and for many, many days after. So I am embarking on an attempt to lose 25 pounds before November 5, 2011.

I admit that I've let myself go. I've gotten lazy and haven't kept up with eating right and exercising. But today I need to make a change. I've done this before. Thirteen years ago, I lost 40 pounds. It took me about six months. So 25 pounds in about the same amount of time is possible. I know that there are lots of diet plans out there. Last time I did Herbalife, a program of dietary supplements along with decreasing caloric intake. It was very regimented and involved taking many pills throughout the day. It worked well for me. But this time I need to make life changes. I can't just lose the weight by my target date and then go back to life as usual. I'm older now and I believe that these changes need to be made so that my quality of life will remain as good as possible as I go into the middle of my life. My plan includes exercise and proper eating. The exercise part is pretty easy. Willie, my dog, is there every morning encouraging me to hook him up to his harness and leash and get outside for a walk. I commit to Willie a one-hour walk every day. In addition to that, I plan to get back to the gym so that I can tone up with weights. I actually look forward to the elliptical trainer and the treadmill. I know that I will feel so much better the more I exercise. The proper eating part is going to be considerably harder. I love food, all kinds of food. And my husband is a superb cook. We have fantastic food in our house all the time. I also love sweets. Put a chocolate cake on the table and I my will-power goes out the window. So this part will be much harder for me. I need to consider everything I eat. How much am I eating? Why am I eating it? Am I using this food as a comfort? How will I feel after I've eaten? And, most importantly, will eating this help me reach my goal? I need to remember, too, that the wedding is the target date for losing the weight, but the ultimate goal is to be healthier and be able to live a fuller life. I've always believed that the more you do the more you can do. Now is the time to start living that belief.

Jane Trafzer Memorial

I read this at my mother-in-law's memorial service today:

I am Debbie Trafzer. I am Jane's daughter-in-law. One doesn't usually get to choose the family that comes with one's mate. But if ever there were a family worth choosing, this one is it. What began with Tom and Jane 60 years ago has become a wonderfully special family. And Jane was at the heart of it.

When Tom and I got married, Mom got me a sewing machine for a wedding present. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't sew. But for Mom it was just a given that you would sew and mend. When I decided that I wanted to learn to make grape jam and needed a sieve, she searched and found one for me. When we were looking for a piano so that our daughter Wendy could take lessons, Mom looked for and found one for us. For Mom it was natural that you would do things yourself, fix things yourself and learn things for yourself. She taught me to be self-reliant and economical. I remember once going with Mom and Dad and Tom to their cabin above Georgetown. She cooked dinner on the hearth of the fireplace, a roast and potatoes. I never forgot that and some years ago when our electricity went out I was able to duplicate that meal in our wood stove. I never would have thought of doing it if it hadn't been for Mom's example.

We would have big family gatherings at their house in El Dorado hills. My best memories are of walking into the kitchen to see Mom cooking with one of her daughters. Or sitting on the floor in the living room reading to the grandkids. Or rocking the newest baby in the rocking chair. I loved Grandma's library. She would go to book signings and buy autographed books for the grandkids. At Christmas, each child knew that there would be a box of books from Grandma.

We could count o birthday dinners and Mother's Day brunch. She was at the grandkids' graduations and weddings. She enjoyed our Thai food outings and Starbucks Thursdays. When we got together for holidays, the first words out of her mouth were "What can I bring?"

I know that Mom was proud of each of her four children. She adored each grandchild - there are 11. And she was pleased with each great-grandchild - we're now at 7. Each of you were precious and special to her.

Mom was generous and giving. She was intelligent and honest. Even though I married into the family, she made me feel as though I was her daughter. She was accepting. She was loving. I will miss her.

Seven Lessons from My Dog

1. Greet people with enthusiam.

When I come home, my dog Willie is at the door ready to greet me. Whether I've been gone for a quick trip to the store or a four day trip out of town, he's excited to see me and shows his excitement by twirling around. After I've taken off my jacket and put my purse away, I sit and hold him and pet him. We greet each other with enthusiam.

This is how I need to greet people. Everyone is special and should be told that as they come through the door. I don't know how many days I will get with the special people in my life. I need to make sure they know that they are important to me. Greeting them with enthusiam is one way I can do that.

2. Exercise wholeheartedly.

Willie is ready to walk for me at any time of any day. He walks in the rain or in the dark. He walks around the block or for 5 miles on a hiking trail. It makes no difference to him. He puts his heart into every walk. He seems to instinctively know that getting out and exercising is good for him.

I need to greet my exercise routine with the same heart. Whether its walking, lifting weights or running on the treadmill, each opportunity to exercise is a chance to stay healthy and young. I'm not kidding myself about having the body of a 24 year old. I'm no longer 24 years old and that body is long gone. I need to exercise so that I will be able to keep up as I age. Exercise is just good for me.

3. Play with abandon.

When I throw the ball or play tug-of-war with Willie, he gives it his all and nothing else exists right then. He chases leaves and squirrels the same way. When he is playing, he's enjoying himself and anyone else who's playing with him. For Willie, play is an important part of living.

I sometimes forget to play. When worktime is over, I want to sit and relax. I forget that play is also relaxing. Play is good for the heart and a way to bond with others. When we first adopted Willie, my husband played with Willie more than I did. One day, Willie and I were alone. He was six-months old and full of energy, so I started playing with him. That playtime seemed to bond us together in a new way. There was nothing but me and him and the game. I was laughing at him. He appeared to be laughing at me. We gave the game our all and it was a good thing.

4. Be quick to forgive.

I have noticed that if I accidently step on Willie, after he yelps in pain, he runs to me and tries to lick my face or hand. He is forgiving me. Right away. No accusations. No fault-finding. Just putting things right between us, before I've even had a chance to react and apologize.

Why don't I do that? Why must I analyze and try to figure out what to do and what to say? Why do I have to decide whether I'm at fault more than the other person? Just put things right. Apologize quickly, even if the fault isn't mine. It may not be this time, but it probably will be next time. And the people in my life are more important to me than being right.

5. Gather information from all sources until you make a decision.

I've watched Willie when we go to a new place. He sniffs things out and gathers as much information as possible. He looks in all the corners of all the rooms with his nose to the ground. If we come home and someone has come over during our absence, he can tell right away and starts sniffing until he can find the visitor.

I tend to be quick to jump to conclusions. I've gotten into a lot of trouble because of this tendency. I know that knowledge is power and that there are many sides to every story. I need to wait for more information before I decide what's what. Sniff things out and look everywhere for answers.

6. Treat everyone the same.

Whether young or old, rich or poor, Willie treats everyone the same. He's friendly and accepting. If you are not as friendly as he is, he will keep trying to win you over.

Everyone is deserving of a friendly smile. The kind word that I give today could mean the difference between a sucky day or a good day for someone. And the person who looks like they have it all together may be the person who needs it the most.

7. Be empathetic.

Willie has the ability to tell what kind of mood I'm in. If I'm having a bad day or crying about something sad in my life, he jumps in my lap and starts licking my face, as if to say "It'll be okay." If I'm happy or upbeat, he picks up on that too and is ready to rejoice with me.

People want their feelings to be acknowledged and validated. I may not be able to solve the problems of those around me, but I have found that resolution isn't what people want from me anyway. They want to be heard. They want an ear and a shoulder when faced with the problems of life. They want to share good news with someone who with be excited for them. Jump up and down and give a high-five when all is right with the world.