Countdown to the Wedding - Day 22

I made it through Easter without eating candy.  I think that's the first time in my life that that has happened.  It felt good.  At the end of the day I was proud of myself.  It hasn't been a great week for weight loss.  I'm not sure why.  But I do notice a greater sense of energy and my clothes are fitting differently.  When I look in the mirror, I feel positive.  And I can tell that the habits I'm forming are taking root.  It has become easier to figure out how to eat properly when I eat out.  Its been three weeks and my total weight loss is 8 pounds.

A Man Like Bob

I first met Bob Lankford twelve years ago. He and his wife Nettie went to the church that my husband and I had just joined. He was in his late 60s but looked and acted like a far younger man. He was big and strong. His energy seemed boundless. I just knew him as Bob, the guy who was involved in many aspects of the church - elder, Sunday School manager, custodian, usher, men's leader. He was one of those people who is intimidating when you first meet him. He seemed bigger than life and a great pillar of the faith. As time went by, I noticed that he was never afraid to say yes to whatever needed to get done. I would drive past the church and see him pulling weeds. I would come into the church for a meeting and he would be there first, setting up rooms. We didn't have a lot of interaction, but I regarded him as someone to look up to.
About five years ago, Nettie befriended me and pulled me into their world. Nettie was also a pillar in the church and I felt far beneath that status, but our friendship grew. Tom and I had the opportunity to get to know her and Bob on a more intimate basis. We went to dinner or lunch often and were fortunate enough to be in a small group together. They were still our elders and still giants of the faith, but I was able to see them both on a different level. I started to see Bob's humor and his way of looking at the world. I saw how deeply he loved his wife and family. Bob was the kind of man who always helped Nettie into and out of the car. He always held her arm as they walked into and out of a building. Nettie suffered a series of small strokes and Bob was rarely away from her. He did their cooking and their shopping when Nettie was no longer able to do so herself. He cared for her in that way that you hope your own spouse will do for you. Bob was the kind of man you wanted your husband to know.
Bob developed cancer about five years ago and beat it that time. The cancer came back about a year ago and took him away from us on April 15. He had just turned 80 years old. My husband and I attended his memorial service yesterday morning. We got to hear from his two adult children. We heard from one of his grandsons. We heard from two pastors who knew Bob. The theme that ran throughout was that Bob loved God and loved his family. He was funny and wise. He was ready to play a joke on you, but he was also there whenever you had a problem. He was humble and open. He knew that he was perfect. He was honorable and kind.
My life has been enriched because I knew Bob.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 15

I'm enjoying my new diet more than I thought I would. I eat protein and vegetables, with just a little fruit a couple times a week. So for breakfast, I saute colorful peppers, zucchini, red onion and sweet potato in olive oil and butter. Just before that is ready, I push the veggies out of the middle of the pan and drop in an egg so that everything cooks together. Its very fast and unbelieveably tasty. The best part is that it keeps me from getting hungry for longer than the carton of yogurt I used to have for breakfast. For lunch, I'll have a salad with a little cooked chicken or ham. Tom does all of our cooking for dinner and he hasn't changed how he cooks much, so I'm watching portions and loading up on the vegetables. I drink two liters or more of water every day. It isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I have a pitcher that holds two liters and I fill it up every morning and leave it on the counter in the kitchen so I can keep track of my progress. I do admit that I miss sweets and a couple of times its been very hard. My total weight loss so far is 5 pounds.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 11

One of my biggest tests with my new lifestyle so far came last evening. I attended a jewelry party at the home of a friend. I knew everyone there except for one woman, so it was an intimate, comfortable setting. The jewelry was laid out on two tables and we were free to try on anything and everything. The jewelry was beautiful and very well presented. We were all trying things on and commenting on how things looked on each other. It was so much fun being with these women. There was also lots of food, including two different cakes. Cakes are my downfall. I love love love sweets. Since I knew it was going to be a challenge, I ate a salad before I left home. So I spent as much time as possible trying on EVERYTHING, partly to keep me away from the food table. I talked with the other women. I poured over the catalog. And after an hour I ate two pieces of cheese. I had a glass of wine. I ate a little more cheese. One of my problems is that once I start eating I don't stop. Everything just tastes too good. This took all the will-power I could muster. I kept my focus on the people and the product. I did have a small piece of garlic bread. But I didn't have any cake. I know that I have to wait at least a month of this before I introduce even a small amount of sweets. When I walked away after the evening was over, I felt like a champion!!! I didn't overeat. I didn't have any cake. And I was able to keep my mind off the food. It was the best feeling ever.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 10

My commitment to walk for an hour every day included walking in the rain yesterday. It wasn't raining when Willie and I started out. It started raining about half-way through. I have always loved the rain. My family lived in Tacoma, Washington when I was in upper elementary school. It rains a lot in Tacoma and that might be where I developed such a love for walking in the rain. I remember wearing my rain boots and splashing in the puddles, riding my bike with my mouth open so I could catch raindrops on my tongue and helping many worms back into the grass. I love the freshness of the air during and after a rain. The smell of a coming storm makes me smile. Living in Northern California doesn't give me the opportunity to walk in the rain much, so I enjoy it whenever I can. I was wearing my big floppy hat, so my glasses didn't get wet. Willie didn't even seem to notice the raindrops. We just kept to our daily route. It was a most enjoyable morning.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 8

It has been one week since I started my life changes. I have lost 4 pounds. I'm REALLY jazzed by that. It is very encouraging. The last time I lost weight, it took a month for even one pound to come off, so this is great. I'm eating mostly protein and vegetables, with a little fruit every day. In order to make it easy, we always have cut up vegetables in the refrigerator. I do eat carbs but not nearly as much as I used to. Tom is gluten-free, so most of the carbs that I eat are also gluten-free. For the first six days, I had a headache most of the time and was hungry all of the time. The headache is now gone. I'm still hungry a lot, but I drink a big glass of water and it seems to make that feeling go away. Another great change has been my hour-long walks with Willie. I'm feeling strong and have LOTS more energy. Its interesting how expending energy gives you more energy. Willie is a very willing companion when it comes to getting outside. There have even been a couple of days, though, when he was actually lagging behind a bit toward the end of our walk. A bit of a test came for me yesterday at work. If there is chocolate available, I'm like a moth to a flame. Because it is National Library Week, our director came in to give us kudos. She brought some treats for the staff, including some chocolate. It took a great deal of will-power for me to keep from helping myself. But I was successful. I didn't have any chocolate. I know that if I had started, I wouldn't be able to stop. Chocolate is going to have to be a part of my life, but I need to get these good habits firmly intrenched before I attempt to have JUST a little.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 7

The changes that I am making to lose weight are changes for a lifetime. I'm retraining myself to make different choices with food, with drink and with exercise. So the question for the weekend was "Can my new lifestyle include a wine tasting trip?" Answer: yes.

Tom and I joined my brother Rick and his wife Pam for a day of wine tasting in the Shenendoah Valley. The day was beautiful. The sky was blue and the temperatures were in the upper 60s with just a hint of a breeze. My thoughtful husband planned ahead and packed meat and cheese, nuts, fruit and bottles of water. This insured that we wouldn't need to stop for a high calorie lunch.

We went to five wineries. They were all unique and interesting, as these small wineries in this area are. Each one had excellent wine. One of our stops included the Fitzgerald Winery. It sits at the top of a hill and the view from their patio is nothing short of spectacular. We sat and ate our lunch with a glass of their wine, looking out over the whole Shenendoah Valley. It just took your breath away, it was so beautiful. I could have stayed there the rest of the afternoon.

As fantastic as the day was though, the best part was spending time with my brother and his wife. Rick is two years younger than I. I kid him that he was always "Mom's favorite." Most of the time I'm not kidding. We've gotten closer the past few years than any other time in our lives, partly because of dealing with our Mom's accident and subsequent death. But also because we decided to make our relationship a priority. We purposefully plan get-togethers. Because he and Pam live 45 minutes south of us, it is a challenge, but well worth the time and effort. Pam and I are better than sisters-in-law. She's like a kindred spirit. As a working woman, she's very self-assured and capable in whatever setting she finds herself. She's a nurse and she worked for a time as a drug sales rep. This meant that she traveled around the Western U. S. alone. Its because of her that I first traveled on my own to visit my daughter in Connecticut. She's also talented and crafty at home, making her own tomato sauce, canning her own corn, running a little farm with my brother. We've gotten to be wonderful friends and I love talking to her and hearing her perspective on life. Bringing Pam into my family was one of the best things my brother did.

So, yes, wine-tasting is okay. Spending time with Rick and Pam is better than okay.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 5

Because I had gone to the River Cats game, I was up till midnight Thursday. By the time I was up and moving around it was almost 9 am. I started thinking about things I needed to get done that day - laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, paying bills. Then I remembered my commitment to Willie. And to myself. So we went for a walk.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 4

Last night was the opening game for the Sacramento River Cats. I'm not an avid fan of professional baseball, but I love watching Triple-A ball. I went with my Dad, his wife Dawn and Darci, the eight-year daughter of a friend. The game was exciting and the River Cats beat the Tacoma Rainiers 6-2. One big issue for me though: Would I have a hot dog and a beer? You see, one of the best reasons to go to a River Cats game is the uncomparable goodness of a stadium hot dog. I love the warm softness of the bun and the flavor of ketchup and relish combined with a hot steamy hot dog. And then to combine it with an icy cold beer is just heavenly. So when I think of making life changes, I have to decide whether a hot dog and a beer at a ball game fits that new mindset.

Yes, I had the hot dog. But I didn't eat it all. I did, however, enjoy every delicious bite.

No, I did not have the beer. After all, I was driving.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 3

In the past two days, I've eaten three meals in restaurants or fast food places. Since the changes that I'm making in order to lose weight are life changes, I don't see that as a bad thing. Going out to eat is something that I do. I like to meet people for lunch. My husband and I eat out often. So I need to retrain myself to make wise choices when I eat out.

The first meal out was with my Dad on Tuesday. I went to spend some time with him and we went out for lunch, as we often do. He decided that we should go to KFC. KFC isn't a place that I normally frequent, not because I don't like it but because when I think of KFC, I think of deep-fried everything. So on the drive there, I had a conversation with myself about being careful. I know they have mashed potatoes and corn on the menu, but the gravy and butter associated with those two options would render the food pretty much off limits. When we got to KFC, I saw the 5-piece Hot Wings - 350 calories. I added the green beans, which seemed to be mostly flavored water, for another 20 calories. The wings were pretty spicy, which was good. My taste buds were well satisfied. But spending time with my Dad was the point; doing it around food was incidental. It helped me to keep that perspective.

The next meal out was that same day. I meet a friend for dinner every Tuesday. We've been doing this for a couple of years and we enjoy the time together. We don't spend time on the phone during the week, so a weekly "date" keeps us in touch. Again, the time spent together is the point. We meet at a hamburger place called The Habit. They serve yummy, juice, drippy hamburgers and fantastically crispy sweet potato fries. This was going to be tough. But not impossible. I have found that eateries do offer sensible options. They're just not the main thing on the menu. You have to search for them. I ordered the Grilled Chicken Salad with low-fat Italian dressing. It had lots of crispy vegetables like lettuce, carrots and cucumbers and had a few strips of grilled chicken. It was very tasty, I felt great about my choice and, most importantly, I got to spend another lovely evening with a dear, dear friend. Its that all-important perspective.

The final meal out was last night. My husband and I have dinner with his Dad every Wednesday. We take turns being responsible for the arrangements. It was Dad's week, so he chose a sushi restaurant. I'm a recent sushi convert, so don't know much about its caloric content. I decided that the best option would be to leave the table hungry. My husband and I shared a couple of rolls. I paced myself and enjoyed every bite. But I stopped well before I would have otherwise and way before I was full.

As someone who enjoys food and eating out, these life changes are important. Challenging at times, but important.

Countdown to the Wedding - Day 2

I've always been a morning person. I love getting up before everyone else in the house and enjoying the quiet, peacful time. I love the freshness of a new day. Here in Northern California, most of the year it is the only cool time of day. I'm married to a night-owl. Tom stays up late every night. He doesn't go to bed until midnight or after. We've managed to work out our different internal clocks in the 30+ years we've been married. I'm okay with him kissing good-night and going back out into the living room. He's okay with me climbing out of bed before him in the morning. For the past several months, I've started staying up later with him. It's been enjoyable to be able to watch movies together until midnight, but there has been an unintended consequence. Because I've been staying up later, I've been getting up later. And getting up later has meant that my time to walk and exercise is now spent sleeping in. So that is the first change to make.

I know myself well enough to know that if I don't get my exercising done in the morning, it just isn't going to happen. I need to exercise when my energy level is at its peak. For me, that's in the morning. So, good-bye late nights. I need to get to bed by 10:30. I need to get up by 6:30. Willie and I were walking early yesterday morning and this morning. It felt good. The air was fresh and clean. The dew was on the grass. We both had a spring in our step. It was a lovely day to be out early. I feel ready to take on whatever comes.

Countdown to the Wedding

My daughter is getting married on November 5, 2011. That's 7 months from today. Just under 31 weeks. Exactly 214 days. I'm happy about the wedding. I'm thrilled with the man she's going to marry. It's going to be an exciting and jubilant time. I am, however, NOT happy about my weight right now. I want to feel that I look good at my daughter's wedding. And more importantly, I want to FEEL better on that happy day and for many, many days after. So I am embarking on an attempt to lose 25 pounds before November 5, 2011.

I admit that I've let myself go. I've gotten lazy and haven't kept up with eating right and exercising. But today I need to make a change. I've done this before. Thirteen years ago, I lost 40 pounds. It took me about six months. So 25 pounds in about the same amount of time is possible. I know that there are lots of diet plans out there. Last time I did Herbalife, a program of dietary supplements along with decreasing caloric intake. It was very regimented and involved taking many pills throughout the day. It worked well for me. But this time I need to make life changes. I can't just lose the weight by my target date and then go back to life as usual. I'm older now and I believe that these changes need to be made so that my quality of life will remain as good as possible as I go into the middle of my life. My plan includes exercise and proper eating. The exercise part is pretty easy. Willie, my dog, is there every morning encouraging me to hook him up to his harness and leash and get outside for a walk. I commit to Willie a one-hour walk every day. In addition to that, I plan to get back to the gym so that I can tone up with weights. I actually look forward to the elliptical trainer and the treadmill. I know that I will feel so much better the more I exercise. The proper eating part is going to be considerably harder. I love food, all kinds of food. And my husband is a superb cook. We have fantastic food in our house all the time. I also love sweets. Put a chocolate cake on the table and I my will-power goes out the window. So this part will be much harder for me. I need to consider everything I eat. How much am I eating? Why am I eating it? Am I using this food as a comfort? How will I feel after I've eaten? And, most importantly, will eating this help me reach my goal? I need to remember, too, that the wedding is the target date for losing the weight, but the ultimate goal is to be healthier and be able to live a fuller life. I've always believed that the more you do the more you can do. Now is the time to start living that belief.