Foam

Lots of things fascinate me. Today I went with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to a foam and upholstery shop to replace the foam inside the seat cushion of my mother-in-law's favorite chair. Now, it really wouldn't have occurred to me to do such a thing. I would have considered the chair old and ready to be replaced. But mom just wanted new foam. So we found a shop that did such a thing. The place looks like its been around for 30 or more years. It is one of those places where, no matter where you look, you see something interesting. Old signs and notices, any kind of upholstery you can imagine. The telephone was the old rotary kind. Even the cash register looked like it was from the 50s or 60s with the buttons and the bell when the drawer opened. I love places like that. They have so much character.

When we walked in, the owner was cutting foam for another customer, who was refinishing a camper. It was measure, mark, cut. Very quick and very accurate. The foam was cut with an electric saw. I was enthralled with the way the man worked; no unnecessary movements. You knew he had done this thousands of times. We had the chair cushion with us. The man traced around it on a thick piece of foam, cut it out, again quickly and accurately, and glued batting on it to make it more cushiony. More customers came in behind us and I could have stayed all day watching.

Confession Part 2

I did confess that I murder plants. I have murdered many, many plants over the years. I'm always hopeful that the lovely flowers and tomato plants that I put out are going to do well, grow and flourish. They don't. They shrivel and die. But I do get those ugly disengenuous weeds. I pull out the weeds. I have been pulling out weeds for several days now. Someone recently pointed out to me that if I can get weeds to grow - they are plants, after all - I ought to be able to get the plants I WANT to grow. Well, I have a new strategy. I ignore the weeds. I don't water them, I don't tend them, I don't hover over them and plead with them. Perhaps I should do the same with shrubs and flowers and tomatoes. Perhaps they would all do better if I just glance at them from time to time and mumble. Maybe it will work........

Anger

I have a hard time being angry. No, not being angry, but expressing my anger. Expressing anger was discouraged by my mother. I think it scared her. She was married at a young age to someone who dealt with his anger by hitting people. When I was first married, I tended to slam cupboard doors and drawers. I didn't talk about why I was angry, but I did let those around me know I was angry. A few times I would yell. But then the emotion of the situation would take over and I would start crying. The words that I needed to say wouldn't come out because of the tears and that was just frustrating. Better not to say anything than to be frustrated. As I've gotten older, I know that that was an unhealthy way to deal with my thoughts and feelings. My husband and I have managed, after 30 years of marriage, to work out ways to communicate our feelings that is better and healthier. And truthfully, after all this time, I just don't get angry at my husband like I used to. We've got it all worked out very well.

But I do still struggle with how to express my anger to other people. I still feel that frustration rising up when I would rather be clear, concise and articulate. I still need to work it out.

Don't give up trying. The answer is just around the corner.

Mobile blogging

Friendship

Six or seven years ago, I met someone new at church and we became friends. She owned a florist then and my youngest daughter started working for her part-time after school and on weekends. When my daughter was getting ready to go off to college, my friend asked if I knew anyone who would want to take my daughter's place at the shop. I told that I would. I knew nothing about flowers or the retail business. But I knew that this friend was a kind, gentle, caring person and I wanted to get to know her better and be around her more.

That decision is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I started working the weekend before Mother's Day, which was a trial-by-fire experience in the floral world. I worked for her until that Christmas, when she decided to close her shop. But those eight months brought us closer together than we expected. Since it was a small business - 3 employees and the owner - we spent a lot of time together. There were times when we were very busy. But there were times when it was relatively quiet. During those quiet times, we would talk. We talked about anything and everything. We solved the problems of the world. We joked. We laughed. We cried. We worked and talked. We sat and ate lunch and talked. She says that I was there for her during a critical time in her life because while I worked for her, she decided to close her shop and then did close her shop. I helped her think it out and grieve over the loss of the customers she had come to know and love. But as is always true in a friendship, she was also there for me at a critical time. My youngest daughter went off to school, our nest was empty and she allowed me to voice some of my thoughts and feelings about that. My other daughter had gotten married and she allowed me to voice some of my thoughts and feelings about that.

When her shop closed and we realized that we wouldn't be seeing each other on a regular basis, we came to the conclusion that we wanted our friendship to be given the opportunity to continue to flourish. So we made a pact that we would get together once a week for dinner. She moved about an hour from where I live, but we have kept that pact. Every week she drives down so that we can meet together. And we talk and laugh and cry. She listens while I talk about whatever is going on in my life and I listen while she talks about whatever is going on in her life. She gives me perspective and I give her perspective.

Friendships are important and I have many good, good friends. They take time and they take commitment. Friendships don't grow if you don't keep them going. It has to be a conscious effort. You need to decide to be a friend. I'm glad I decided to be a friend to my friend, Wendy.