Anger

I have a hard time being angry. No, not being angry, but expressing my anger. Expressing anger was discouraged by my mother. I think it scared her. She was married at a young age to someone who dealt with his anger by hitting people. When I was first married, I tended to slam cupboard doors and drawers. I didn't talk about why I was angry, but I did let those around me know I was angry. A few times I would yell. But then the emotion of the situation would take over and I would start crying. The words that I needed to say wouldn't come out because of the tears and that was just frustrating. Better not to say anything than to be frustrated. As I've gotten older, I know that that was an unhealthy way to deal with my thoughts and feelings. My husband and I have managed, after 30 years of marriage, to work out ways to communicate our feelings that is better and healthier. And truthfully, after all this time, I just don't get angry at my husband like I used to. We've got it all worked out very well.

But I do still struggle with how to express my anger to other people. I still feel that frustration rising up when I would rather be clear, concise and articulate. I still need to work it out.